River
by ladyasile
Summary: Past references to BL. Life never flows as planned, for there are twists and turns in which one can get lost in. Often, chances for something better show up.


**River**

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Disclaimer: I don't own YYH.

Warnings: Character deaths, BL is mentioned, total AU, perhaps some OOC, and BAD writing.

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Fleeting Farewell…

"_When I realized I had fallen in… Love… It was too late. In the end, all I was able to do was keep him company as he leisurely entered the next life. Rather than worry him with my maudlin confession, I chose to keep him in the dark about it. That made it easy for us to spend time together. Ignoring that attraction was the best thing I ever did…"_

When his clothes had begun to drip all the water they had absorbed, he knew it was time to go back. Gritting his teeth from more than the shivers he felt, he stood up from the park bench and began to walk. There was no need to rush now, he knew. Whether he was late or not no longer mattered. The ache in his upper arm had lessened due to the cold air and water. It felt numb now, but he knew he had no reason to worry about it.

The sidewalks were empty as the rain continued to pound the surface beneath his feet. Countless of people had been there before, when he had ran to the park earlier on in the day. Not being surrounded by anyone, he felt less humiliated. All the scratches and bruises always drew attention to him, but now at least he would be able to walk in peace. It wasn't much comfort, but it was better than attempting to hide every inch of his body as he walked.

"_When he no longer was there, it made it even more difficult than before to fall for someone without having second thoughts about it. Long ago, I was told that love was something sacred. It was to never be doubted when you felt it strong enough. Even back then I never believed those words. Do you think that's why I do this?"_

Sipping his tepid coffee, he felt Kuronue's eyes scanning him. It wasn't as if he could hide those scars now. They marred his face, the one place they had without a sound agreed on to never mark. Warmth began fill his cheeks from having his friend inspect him with such detail, as if he were an artifact that needed to be handled with care.

"I'd start off with gentle words, but it's too late for that. We both know what's going on, and it's something that needs to stop," Kuronue said as he looked away from him. Both refused to meet each other's gaze and resorted to silence for a moment. The quiet spell lasted until Kuronue coughed into his hand. "Do you remember what I told you before?" His eyes shifted downwards and his shoulders became tensed. "Have you decided?"

As he faced Kuronue he felt his eyes sting. Soon the face of his friend became blurred as he began to shed tears. Nodding, he answered, "Yes, I made my choice." He accepted the tissue Kuronue offered him before continuing. "I know that he does this to me, but I can't leave him. I'm sorry."

"You can't, or your won't?!" Kuronue shouted, startling other customers around them. "Kurama, what he does to you isn't right," he said, voice softer and lower. Kurama lowered his head, unable to deny it. Placing his hand on his forehead, Kuronue asked, "Why?"

"_He wanted to take you away from me, didn't he? So why did you stay? Some might consider you foolish for not getting yourself away from… Me. Or is that you like this? No? I didn't think so. You might not run away, but… Goodbye."_

_**Stumbling**_

Breathing had now become something that felt like an exercise to his body, something not normal. With complexity he brought himself up to his knees. The water on the floor of the back alley looked dark with something that he did not wish to know. Despite not wanting to know, he couldn't help the stench of it. Whether he washed his clothes or not, the stain would remain, but the smell might be erased.

Shaking his head from thoughts that had less than nothing to do with his current life, he dragged himself to the nearest wall. Crawling there was no easy feat with all the rats and insects that kept getting in his way. The floor was overflowing with their dropping, and filthy water. Reaching the wall, he leaned against it and tried his best to relax. However, every time he heard a noise, he could not help but flinch at what might be coming his way.

Covering himself as best as he could with his torn jacket, he readied himself for a night's sleep. Although with his past experiences, that would be an exaggeration. As he began to close his eyes a crash from his left alerted him of someone coming. By now he knew that hoping for the best was the same as wasting time. Rather than keeping still, he got up with aid from the wall and began to walk as fast as he could, away from there. Soon his ears caught the voices of men nearing him.

"It's not like we had a choice, you know. The bastard had it coming to him, anyway. To dwell on the past isn't healthy," the first voice said.

There was a dry laugh from another. "When I got into this, I wasn't expecting it to be like… Hell, I wasn't expecting anything now that I think about it. I guess I never knew that killing someone would be so real. All that blood. Doesn't seem like a human could have that much in him."

"No?" The first voice asked. His voice was far smoother and rich than the second's. "I said something like that the first time I killed someone. Nevertheless, you're already in and you can't get out. Remember, you got yourself in this and now you serve our leader. Do not make me put a price on your head, kid."

For a moment neither of the two spoke, which made him think that they had spotted him. When he was about to turn around, he heard them speak again. It seemed that luck was on his side since at that moment he let out a cry of pain and wasn't heard.

"Speaking of loyalty, how close are you to him?" The second man's voice sounded cocky and young, much younger than the first's.

"I'm second to him, which means that I've known him much longer than you have. Does that answer your question?"

"Nope. What I meant was… Fine, I won't ask."

The pain on his legs was beginning to intensify. Biting on his lip was no longer helping. Before long he knew he was going to let out a cry and would be discovered. With the little strength he had, he fell to the floor and did his best to hide behind the rubbish around him.

"To speak about it is just as bad as trying to hide from me." From the start he knew it was futile, but he had to try. And now he had been caught. "Why don't you come out? You've already heard our private conversation, so why not stay around for introductions?"

Everything told him that it would be a fatal mistake to make, but did he have any other choice? Could he run? Did he have a weapon? The circumstances were not on his side, but he still had a chance if he complied. Moving as best as he could, he managed to stand up and turn toward them. "It was not my intention to overhear you," he said to them.

Although the lighting there was dim, he could make out some of their features. Both had dark hair, but one of them was taller than the other. The taller one had piercing eyes, like that of a man who's seen horrors that others could never imagine. As for the younger one, his eyes were full of innocence with a spark of waywardness. "I apologize for intruding." Both of the men shared a look before walking closer to him.

"You look like hell. What happened to you?"

Before he was able to speak, the taller man asked, "First of all, answer me these two questions. What is your name? And who do you work for?"

From the first moment he had heard them talk, he knew that the two men dealt in lethal business. Now he knew what type. Knowing that, he knew that he should not lie in all of his answers. "My name is Kurama, but I do not work for anyone."

The taller man's eyes roamed from his face to the rest of his body. "Kurama is not a common name. If you're lying, it won't be hard to find out your real identity." For a moment he considered answering something else, but didn't. "Very well, _Kurama_, what business do you have out here?"

"None. I'm… Homeless," he answered. Perhaps the fact hadn't fazed him due to his sulking, but now that he had admitted it, it made him shiver. "There is not a place for me to go back to," he said, more to himself than to the two men in front of him. The realization made him lower his head.

There was an awkward pause that lasted for a minute or two. Kurama wasn't sure as to why the two hadn't left or said anything. "You're not expecting money from us, are you?"

Blood splattered onto the sullied floor.

The hit was immediate and without a flaw, but it made for another ill at ease moment. "Yusuke?" The taller man smeared the blood that ran down from his mouth as he attempted to clean it all up while trying to comprehend as to why his own partner had distributed the blow.

With a frown set on his face, Yusuke panted. "That hit… Did it hurt? Because if it didn't I'll be glad to do it again." Even though no one had said anything, it appeared to Kurama that Yusuke had sensed their bewilderment. "I'm not doing it because it's a girl, but because I was in her position not too long ago. Or don't you remember, Sensui?"

A growl escaped Sensui as he got up and pushed Yusuke onto the floor with unbelievable force. "_That_," he pointed at Kurama, "is not a girl!" Just as Yusuke had punched him, Sensui did the same. After the quarrel, he got off of Yusuke and extended his hand. With a look of confusion on his face, Yusuke accepted and was helped up. "Although for that comment… I suppose I was out of line."

It wasn't until both had turned to look at him that Kurama become conscious of the opportunity he let escape. "Was that an actual fight or was it an example of your power?"

Yusuke grinned. "Probably both, but… Sorry for the girl comment. I didn't know, and you do look like one."

"This isn't at all an average night, is it? Nonetheless, we can't let you go if you know what we know. Just as I gave him a chance," Sensui turned his head to Yusuke and then back to him, "I'll give you one too. Die or come with us."

Biting his lip, Kurama lowered his head. The water on his clothes was beginning to dry some. However, one look at the filthy water around his feet made him shiver. There was no doubt that there would be more water yet to come, and by the time it did he would still need a shelter. The streets seldom offered a place to stay, a haven. It became clear that Sensui's offer was a chance to escape the wrath.

"Very well, I'll go with you." As soon as his answer left his mouth, he felt a chain across his neck, tightening. It hadn't occurred to him that whatever laid ahead in the path he had chosen would be far worse than from what he had been through. With a sigh, he nodded. "That's my final decision."

Sensui nodded, with what seemed like a frown on his face. It made him wonder whether he had chosen the right answer. Yet with no words at all, Sensui signaled for Kurama to follow Yusuke and himself. With one last deep breath, Kurama followed, at once wanting to feel a blanket of warmth around himself.

The wanting of warmth and safety returned yet again as soon as he was lead into a dark, empty room. There was a lamp that didn't illuminate very well, but did allow him to see some of the things in the room. In front of him a desk was placed. It didn't contain many things on it, just pens and some papers. Around the room various plants and flowers in vases and dirt pots sat on either the floor or on stands. There was no window, but there were paintings on the walls. It all looked like an office, one that belonged to someone who seldom went out.

The door opened, but closed before he could get a clear look at the person who had entered. "Sensui told me about how he came across you. You're homeless then? And you're name is Kurama? That's what he told me, but I don't believe it. Nonetheless, I am curious as to why you are here." The man's voice was light, stern, and cautious all at once. However, it sounded more as if the man was trying to hold back something.

"I can assure you that I'm not a spy, or whoever you think I am. It's true, I do not pose a threat to you." The man walked over to his desk and sat. "If you'd rather kill me, then… I won't object to it," he said, voice never wavering.

"I see," he said as he stood up. Although Kurama was unable to see his face, he could make out the outline of an object in his hand. "So you don't have any qualms about dying? No family, I suppose?"

"No one."

The man chuckled. "Sensui was right about you, and right about giving you the chance to join in. You shall join us, if you wish. However, you should know that I will be watching you closely. If I sense anything wrong from you, I won't hesitate to kill you." A moment of quietness captivated them. "Odd. Something about you…" Kurama stilled his body. If there was something he had failed to not mention, then he hadn't caught it. "Would happen to know a man…" His voice came to a halt, as if what he were about to say was something forbidden. If it was, then Kurama still remained clueless. There wasn't a person alive now that he knew that had some connections with someone dealing with illegal activities.

The lights turned on, making Kurama jolt up in his seat. What once was in darkness was now visible. Nothing captivated his attention more than the man now next to him. His eyes were a color unlike what he was used to. There wasn't a word to describe them, even it did have a name. One of his beatific eyes was decorated with a scar, one that added more depth to him.

"Sensui," he whispered. The door opened, revealing the dark-haired man. "Take him to his home. Make him feel welcomed."

Without a word, Sensui nodded. He walked to Kurama and helped him out of his seat. Together they walked toward the exit.

_**Gathering**_

All of his aches had just about vanished. There weren't any bruises or cuts on him anymore. As strange as it may have been at first, joining Yusuke and Shinobu Sensui was the best thing that had happened to him as of late. Talking with the leader of the gang was something he would not like to do again, but according to Shinobu, he was to do it again soon.

Kurama had some clue as to what he meant. When he first ran into Yusuke and Sensui, they were coming back from Yusuke's first mission. And from what he had heard, he learned about what was expected of him. Throughout the two weeks he had been there, he came to know more about the members in the organization. Most of them kept to themselves for two reasons. Either they didn't trust him or they didn't like him.

In the organization there were six out of some thousands that talked to him. The first two were Yusuke and Sensui, but as soon as they reached headquarters, he came to know four others, not including the leader. Jin had been the first to talk to him while everyone else, with the exception of the first two, ignored him. When Yusuke, Sensui, or Jin were not with him, others came to him.

Karasu and Yomi were the ones that made him feel uneasy most of the time. It wasn't that they threatened him, but rather that they flirted with him. At first he thought it was a test to see if he liked men or not, but when they began to stroke him and kiss him, he knew it wasn't a test at all. It was the last person that seemed to protect him from those two. Shizuru had befriended him in a way no one else did. She was beautiful and always had a pack of cigarettes with her in hand. Perhaps what brought them both together was that they shared some things in common.

According to her, her parents had been killed by someone who wanted revenge. It wasn't soon after when her brother Kazuma had died from an illness. After years of being alone and homeless, she was taken in by the man who used to be second to the leader of their gang. They fell in love, but he was executed by a rival gang.

Their losses had brought them together, and that was at least something he could be grateful for. To not be alone in his pain was a piece of good fortune.

Another piece of great luck was living under a roof with walls around him. When he had been told that he would have his own apartment, he thought they had been joking. However now he found himself in one. It was grand and luxurious compared to anything he had lived in in the past. Money was not required to keep it, but something much more was.

That was what kept bothering him most of the time. When Sensui next came for him, he would have to kill. It wasn't just one small part that didn't think he could do it, it was all of him. To shed blood in order to live a better life; nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

"You awake? I brought you breakfast, Kurama," Yusuke shouted from the front door as he let himself in. "I hope you like it, since Shizuru didn't make it. It was Jin. I heard that the last time he cooked, no one was able to work for a week, but maybe they were just joking… I hope."

Kurama finished making his bed and made his way into the kitchen, where Yusuke would be waiting for him. "I hope so too," he mumbled as he thought of what he would have to do later on. "So what is it?"

Shrugging, Yusuke opened the container and peered inside of it. "I still don't know. It looks like mashed something… It doesn't smell bad, though." Both shared a look before placing their index fingers into the container. Since it hadn't melt their skin, they ventured further. They took out their fingers and placed them inside their mouths.

For Kurama, it tasted like someone had dumped an entire box of salt in it and mixed it up with something bitter. "That wasn't so bad," he said, trying not to sound like he needed something to drink. When he turned to face Yusuke, he saw him nowhere in sight, but the retching sounds from the bathroom gave his location away. "I suppose I should get something to drink now."

Deciding that Jin breakfast was not something that they liked to eat, they settled on going to a restaurant to eat. They ordered and waited for their food in the booth that the waitress had sited them in. "So I've known you for like a week or something, but I don't know much about you, Kurama. What was your life like before you and I met that night? I mean, aside from you being homeless."

While thinking it all through, he picked up the cup with his tea in it and drank. "I'll tell you, but in return you have to tell me more about the organization I joined," Kurama said as he placed the cup down. After pretending to be thinking about it, Yusuke grinned and nodded. "Average. Nothing in my life was extraordinary. My father died shortly after I was born and then my mother did as well. Most of childhood was spent in an orphanage, but I didn't mind."

Their food arrived and Kurama remained silent until after the waitress left. "When I was thirteen I though I had found someone…" Thinking back to when he first ran met Karasu and Yomi, he remembered what he had thought. Now it didn't seem like it would be wise to admit that he has gay

"You don't have to go on if you don't want to. It sounds like this person was very close to you, and I'd rather not make you cry," Yusuke said as he looked around the restaurant. It was obvious that they had two different things on their minds.

"It's… Yusuke does this organization discriminate against certain types of people?" he asked, heart racing.

"Not that I know of… Well, maybe deadbeats, traitors, and idiots. Why do you ask?"

Eating some of his food, Kurama shook his head. "I just wanted to know. So they don't discriminate against people who are… Who don't fall in love with the opposite gender?"

Yusuke spat his food as he laughed. "Gay? You're gay? I knew it!" Kurama kicked his leg and gave him a glare, but it made the raven-haired man laugh harder. "Why were you worried about that? Hell, everyone knows about Karasu's lifestyle already!"

He didn't need a mirror to see that his face was bright red. Kurama waited for Yusuke to calm down before continuing. "As I was saying, I thought I had found the one when I was thirteen. It wasn't long before I found out that I was wrong, but even then I couldn't get away from him. There was something about him that lured me in every time I wanted to escape."

"You wanted to get away? What did he do?" Yusuke asked as he placed his cup of coffee down. For a moment his eyes looked like Kuronue's. It reminded Kurama of the first time he explained to Kuronue why his arm ached.

Swallowing what felt like vomit, he continued. "He was bitter, nothing more. It was something that I could not help him with, and that most likely angered him. For seven years I tried, but I failed." Not feeling hungry, he ignored his food and went for the tea instead. "I imagine he's either dead or making someone's life a living hell now."

"So how old was he? Who was he?" Yusuke asked, eyes glistening with empathy.

"When I met him, he was twenty-four, but it wasn't as if he had a thing for young boys. He just took an interest in me, and I in him. He was far more interested in owning someone than having sex with them."

"Sounds like you want him dead."

Nothing more was said as they ate and drank. It left Kurama thinking much more of what was to come next in his life.

Rather than returning to his apartment, he decided to go with Yusuke, back to the nerve center of their organization. It was a silent walk, but neither minded. The sounds from the city were enough to fill their ears. As they entered the isolated area, Kurama observed his surroundings with a closer eye than before.

The entire area was a maze. Some of the gray buildings that surrounded them were empty, used for distraction more than anything. Other buildings ahead of them were much higher than the ones next to them at the moment. They had no visible windows, but Kurama suspected that there were windows there. One building that stood out for him was perhaps the more desolate. At least that was how it appeared to be like from the outside; the inside was quite the opposite. The inside contained their leader's office.

"Yusuke, Kurama." The soft, firm voice greeted them. Touya stood outside a shed that held several boxes. Kurama didn't know what was inside them, but he suspected weapons among other things. "What brings you two here?" asked Touya as he closed off the shed and activated the alarm on it. The doors were strong-looking, able to handle just about anything.

Following Yusuke's lead, they neared Touya. "Not much. We were just bored and decided to come here. What about you? Where's Jin anyway? You two are almost impossible to split up," Yusuke answered, snickering at what he last said.

If Touya had been embarrassed, he didn't show any visible signs. The young man ran his fingers through his hair, pushing back the locks that came over his eyes. "He's busy at the moment. Jin agreed to cook lunch as well, so you might want to skip that meal here." Yusuke's eyes widened. "I try to help him in the kitchen, but I'm convinced that his tastes are far from normal. And it's because of that that I am left to do what I want for the day. You just happened to catch me helping Yomi unload our latest shipment." He cocked his head toward the shed.

"Where's Yomi? He's not helping you?" Yusuke asked, looking around, but seeing no one around them. "Because if he's just taking advantage of you like this…"

Touya shook his head. "No, he helped but had to leave to attend a rather vital meeting." His gaze lowered for a moment. It was obvious he meant something involving a death. Clearing his throat, Touya pointed to Yusuke's coat. "Looks like you got a weapon. Did Mr. Sensui give it to you…?"

Without much hesitation, Yusuke nodded. "Yeah, he said it was a gift." There was a slight shift in tone in Yusuke's voice. It made Kurama swallow. "So have you made any plans for Jin's birthday? Is he finally going to get laid?" Yusuke barked out a laugh.

The young man in front of them didn't turn his head to face them. "It's not your business, is it? And how do you know Jin and I haven't… you know," mumbled Touya as he pushed his hair away from his eyes.

"He complains, like all men. Well, except Kurama here, but I'm not all that convinced that he's a dude." Yusuke shot Kurama a wink along with a playful grin.

"I'm grateful that he doesn't. Otherwise, it'd be irritating to hear you and all the other men here complain about not getting laid. It's getting late and I'm sure Jin will need help with lunch." Touya dismissed himself with a nod and left toward one of the more inner buildings.

The wind picked up, blowing most of Kurama's hair into his face. It had gotten quite long now. His hair now fell below his knees, and it had gotten quite messy too. Unlike before, he was now able to afford a haircut, since he felt certain that he could not cut it himself. Brushing it all aside, he decided to get one soon.

"I think you need to get a haircut, buddy," Yusuke told him.

With a smile, Kurama nodded. "I'd rather go now than later. We don't need to do anything right now, do we?"

Yusuke shook his head. "Not that I know of. Let's go now before someone decides we're being too lazy."

_**Lull**_

The cold weather and Sensui's schedule had interfered with his first mission. To Kurama it appeared as if it was a sign. True, he had had a good life so far, but the uncertainty of the future kept his mind occupied. "To kill for a better life seems so wrong. I shouldn't do it at all, right?"

Shizuru lit up a cigarette and placed it in her mouth. She took a drag out of it before exhaling a trail of smoke. "It varies for people, Kurama. Hand be the hairbrush again, will you? Thanks. Killing is wrong, there's no doubt about that, but if it helps… Maybe it's worth it, as macabre as that may sound." After parting his hair, she took half of it and began to brush it.

It had been like that most of the night. He had brushed her hair and helped her with her make up since she had a date in a couple of hours. In return, without asking, she began to do the same to him. "Are you looking forward to your date? Who is he, anyways?"

Putting out the cigarette, she answered, "You really want to know? It's the accountant here. You know who he is, right?" Although he didn't have a clue, Kurama nodded. "Sakyo. We have smoking in common, so that's already a plus." Both let out a laugh. "I really like him, so I hope I don't screw it up."

Kurama took the brush from her hand and turned to face her. "You won't. Good luck, Shizuru. Hopefully, we'll hear wedding bells soon." The comment earned him a pillow to his face.

"Anyways, tomorrow is Christmas eve. What are you planning?"

Returning to his previous position, he shrugged. "Not much. I'll go shopping for gifts for the few I know today and… That's it. Unless you all have some sort of party, but that sounds highly unlikely."

Shizuru laughed. "More than getting your own apartment? No, you're right. It is a gang, after all. One of the most powerful ones thanks to our leader, but not the top one yet. It's funny that something so immoral actually opened up opportunities for me. The killing is wrong, but the people that die are… Scum. Nothing they've done has ever helped anyone."

"Spending time with… _Him_ was never easy. At times I wanted to end it all, but I never once thought of taking his life. That probably would have been the only way to get away if he hadn't walked out on me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. And it is because of that that I am not sure if I will be able to this time." Kurama bowed his head and sighed. "Shizuru, I've gone astray, haven't I?"

"You're just confused, but I know you'll find your way back soon. I'll be there for you, Kurama, no matter what," she said. They shared an embrace and went back to getting Shizuru ready for her date. "You know, I don't think I got the right lipstick color for you, Kurama."

It ended up taking them longer to get her ready after the fight they had with the make up.

Long after Shizuru had left in a hurry to meet up with Sakyo, Kurama had yet to move from the sole window in his bedroom. It wasn't n extraordinary window whatsoever. There were no fancy designs on it, nor was there a great view that it offered. It gave him the street below to gaze at, the deep darkness that was the sky, and the snow that fell in accordance to the law that prevented it from being carefree.

And yet, he was unable to escape the captivity of the uneventful scene. 'Perhaps there's something hypnotic about the snow,' he thought as he felt the corners of his mouth lift up. 'That or the snow offers plenty more than we know while we keep our eyes open.' The thoughts ceased as more snow fell from bleak sky. If it was possible, it looked beyond pallid, even for snow. There was something almost wicked to it as it fell in a mocking manner, like the purity of humans that had fallen victim to the acts of hatred.

Through the pageant of icy shards, something caught his eye, luring his gaze away. As he turned his eyes toward the presence he had seen, he realized that it no longer was there. Kurama blinked a few times, making sure that he indeed did not see it anymore. No matter how hard he tried to look, he could not see what he had seen before. Minutes flew by before he renounced the window and laid on his bed.

The sight should have caused him to jump or perhaps faint, but it hadn't. "Maybe because it wasn't real," he muttered to himself, eyes already closed. In some twisted way, he desired what his intuition whispered would happen, he knew. "The title-holder to my proper name and soul…"

_**To The Fallen**_

"You had to do it, Kurama. Now you're officially in, so no one will doubt you or your skills," Sensui said to him as he helped him clean up the blood from his face and hands. "I suppose that isn't much consolation after killing a man. It was for the best, you know. If you hadn't, it would have meant that several others would have died. One life or a hundred?"

Rather than staying put, Sensui helped him up. "We can't stay here long." As they exited the office, Kurama couldn't help but to take one final look at the man he had killed. His eyes never made it to the man's face; the blood still running down his body was enough.

Trembling, his hands were trembling. The blood in his veins felt a coldness that just could not be stopped. Within his chest, his core shook faster than his hands did. Kurama knew Sensui had spoken to him, and was perhaps still speaking to him, but his ears captured not Sensui's deep voice. What they captured was the sound of Sensui's icy gun firing. He needed just that sound to make his body relive the event.

As they reached their leader's office, they were met with quite the sight. Several members of the organization were there, all wearing somber faces. When they exited the car, Karasu came up to them. "Sensui, there's been a massacre. The leader wants to see you now." Sensui nodded and ran out of their sight.

"A massacre?" Kurama asked, thinking back to what he had done just minutes before. Karasu nodded. "Who died?" In reality, he wasn't at all certain that he could bear hearing the names, but he wanted to know. All of the people he had seen before, the ones he had spoken with--Which ones were now gone?

Before telling him, Karasu pulled him into an embrace. As he stroked his hair, he told him all the names, but just a few stood out. Living there was never going to be the same without Jin, Yomi, and Shizuru. No longer would he hear their voices or laughter. It was an odd feeling too. Even though he had been there a while, he had no idea as to what they did or why people died. It made him feel like a child who had no clue about death, or how it affected life.

Part of him wanted to beseech Karasu to silence his voice, not wanting to hear any more of the names. Whether he knew them or not, he wanted the list to stop. When Karasu at last did, he pulled away from the man. If he had said or done anything to the man, he couldn't recall.

When night came, he was alone. Having already honored the fallen, everyone had left to do whatever they needed to get done. Having spent Christmas day alone for most of his life, this was by far the worst day. Everywhere he looked, he managed to see a glimpse of the past. It made him tremble to think of them and not be able to touch or speak to them. They were after all the ones that came to him and befriended him. It meant more than what they thought it did.

Gazing around the living room, his eyes fell onto a gift that had yet to be opened. He reached for it and looked at the tag that hung from the bow. It was a gift to him from Yomi. Seeing the name there almost made him drop the flat box. "Yomi, thank you," he whispered aloud to the empty room. Holding back tears, he opened the box and took out what seemed to be a book of some kind.

Opening it, Kurama figured out that it was a scrapbook. "Yomi," he said, laughing as tears ran down his face. "This organization truly is different than the others," he muttered as he cleaned his face. Most of the scrapbook had remained empty, but the few pages that had been used where filled with pictures that he had not seen before. Most included him, but there were a few that had others that he knew of, alone.

The last page contained two pictures, unlike the rest. The first had Shizuru teasing him with a cigarette in her hand; Yusuke was on the top-left corner with a girl he now knew as Keiko, Yusuke's future wife, or so he claimed. Jin was on the top-right corner with his boyfriend Touya, both were sharing a passionate kiss that had left them all quite stunned in the end. To the far left was Karasu who was trying to clean up bird droppings off of his dark suit with Yomi helping him.

At first it seemed as if the photograph had not given away the identity of the photographer, but upon closer inspection, Kurama noticed the small bit of flesh that had gotten in the way. Although he would never admit it to him, he knew that Sensui was famous for taking pictures and never taking them right. Despite the finger that had gotten in the way, it did seem that he had found Sensui's perfect shot.

The bottom photograph, though, was the one that made him shed more tears. A happy couple was in it, both smiling as they leaned in for a kiss. In some way, it was if they could never kiss. As if they were to remain apart forever. However, their smiles and eyes betrayed that theory for another. One that offered up hope and peace. One that told him that things would be better soon.

_**End of Part I.**_

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A/N: My beta wasn't able to check any of this, but I'd like to thank her anyhow. I know she would have looked this over, but I was on a hurry to post this up and there wasn't enough time. Thank you Brokenshardsofmyheart99! Another special thanks to everyone who kept telling me to hurry up with updates.


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